Her Heart

And as you cried in my arms
You woke up my heart
And I saw again what I found in you
Cuz her heart, her heart wont let me lose her
No matter how I try
I just can´t say goodbye and lose her
---Chorus to "Her Heart" by Anthony Hamilton

This song spoke to me. When I first heard it I looked for it on YouTube so that I could play it over and over and over. And I did. I often get into these obsessive loops with songs or poems. I listen for comfort mainly.

Her Heart told me all kinds of sweet lies, or at least now I've come to think of them as lies. It told me that all I had to do was love enough. All I had to do was hang in and he'd discover that I was always there for him. It didn't tell me how long the crying would last. It didn't tell me how painful waiting would be. But it convinced me that one day my waiting and tears would be rewarded, a tale that I was already thought was true.

Then one day, while I was in the mist of dragging myself out of love, I thought of my heart. I picture it not as the organ or the shape but that empty void that encompasses the center of my chest. And I think about my heart as her heart...and how tired this woman (who until then I thought was me) must have been. And how awful those tears must have felt. And how when his heart woke her heart was so near tired of the fight.