Better

This blog was started after a break up and I'm happy to report that I'm better. So much better than I was. It took me 6 months to get back but I am back and I am better.

This blog was started because I felt like I had no one to speak to about my break up. I had a therapist but she was on a career kick. And my friends had their fill of my couple-doom when the relationship was going off the tracks. So a blog seemed like the best alternative. And it worked for those couple of posts. Eventually my therapist kinda got with the program that I was...well bad off.

So now this blog will be dedicated to other affairs of the heart. I just don't know how...

xo

Hard

I often asked myself "why is this so hard?"....just realized it's hard because you're a prick.

Take Care

I can take care of myself! But I don't want to have to all the damn time! When is will it be my turn to be weak while someone else is strong?

Charm

Charm: a power of pleasing or attracting; any action or item supposed to have magical power; the chanting or recitation of a magic verse.

YOU ARE CHARMING! You think you're charming. You think that you're magic. You believe that you can make anyone love you...and then you use your "power" for pain and hurt. I will loose myself from your powerful charm.

Messin'

He actually accused me of messin' with him?! You dumped me! You rejected me! Then you continue to call me...so yea I am messin' with you.

I recently read Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  It is one of the best non-fiction works I've read.  I underlined a lot of it. I posted many quotes on my Facebook & gchat statues. But the one passage I love the most is this:

"I have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his hightest potential. I have fallen in love more times than I care to count with the hightest potential of a man, rather than the man himself and then I have hung onto the relationship for a long time (sometimes far too long) waiting for the man to ascend to his own greatness. Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."

Amen sister!

She Said I Prefer a Broken Neck

First Line:
"She said that she would prefer a broken neck to another broken heart."
She Said I Prefer a Broken Neck by Amir Sulaiman

When I first read this poem I cried and I cried because I had preferred something much worse than a broken neck. I had...hell have...been considering suicide as a relief. An accidental broken neck (a stumble down the stair) would be a weight lifted. There would be no judgment, no stigma, just a simple accident that would end a complex suffering.